I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
