remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
