my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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