So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
