Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
