Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
