i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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