Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
