Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
