i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
