I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
