I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I didn't notice because vodka
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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