Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
