im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
