words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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