So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm always down for nudity.
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