At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
