he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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