I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
