Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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