I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
