Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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