is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
do herpes really smell.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
