I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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