Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
that is very illegal...i love you.
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