He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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