Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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