i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
this hospital has no fireball
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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