Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
