Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
