me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
