I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
