Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
