Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
