sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
