This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
