You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
