I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
