I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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