So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
