Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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