Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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