it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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