I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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