can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
