Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
