yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
