The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
