She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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