god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
My room smells like vodka and shame
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
