Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
